Quick and Dirty Tips Podcasts

Episode Transcript

Giving to Build Success
Episode 34: June 10, 2008

Stever Robbins here. Welcome to the Get-It-Done Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips to Work Less and Do More.

Today's topic is using giving to get what you want. The quick and dirty tip is to give more value than you charge. And we're not just talking about money.

It's Better To Give Than To Receive

When I was a kid, grown-ups used to say, "''Tis better to give than to receive." In what universe? Receiving treated me pretty good. In my world, Santa Claus brought ME a train set. The Easter Bunny brought ME chocolate eggs. And Lucrezia Demon of the Night brought ME the tormented souls of my enemies. Giving wasn't high on my list.

So I was bummed when researchers showed that giving actually makes you happier than receiving. And the happiness lasts longer. Who knew? Thank you, researchers. There's even a best-seller about giving, "The Go-Giver" by Bob Burg and John David Mann. They lay out the Law of Value: always give more in value than you receive in payment.

As a customer, we love getting more value than we paid for. That's why JetBlue is so awesome—their coach class is better than other airlines' first class. It makes me want to fly them. A lot.

You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours

And... there's deeper psychology at work, too. More than my Tom Cruise "Top Gun" jet pilot fantasies, I mean. Social psychologists have discovered a principle called "reciprocity." When someone does a favor, we feel obliged to return it. We'll do more than the original favor. They give us a free piece of chewing gum, we let them borrow our car and total it. If you doubt this principal, take a good look at your romantic relationships.

This makes sense! If we all give more than we receive, everyone wins. It bonds a community. Unless, of course, you're one of the 5% of the population who's sociopathic, and statistically, there are a lot of you listening. In your case, screw the community! Just remember that reciprocity pretty much guarantees you'll get ahead by being generous.

The Best Things in Life Are Free

You don't have to give things. Advice and assistance are giving. While I writing this, a friend asked a question on Twitter. I called and solved her problem. It took about 30 seconds. Giving accomplished!

In terms of business, you can give more value than your payment in lots of ways. My philosophy is that I want to give at least ten times the value I charge, and I charge a lot. That means my clients end up being people with very big goals. Otherwise, I can't deliver the high value-to-price ratio.

If you're in a service business, you can deliver value in the form of extra service. Be available by e-mail or BlackBerry in ways that other people aren't. Deliver at unusual hours. Be a plumber who works noon to 8 p.m. so you can charge daytime rates and provide service after people get home from work. Or wear a clown costume and make balloon animals for the kids while you fix the pipes. Be creative.

Your ultimate service business is your relationship. Surprise your sweetie with a foot massage. Or flowers. Or write a love poem. Serenade your sweetie. Bring home chocolates. Pick up your socks without being asked. Or how about ask your sweetie for a birthday present that's actually something you know he, she, or they would like, and then give it to them when you open it. Wouldn't get you some extra snuggling at night?

You can give to anyone by just being nice. Smile. Compliment them. Listen to them (people love to be listened to). Bring them lunch when they're too busy to go out on their own. Help them when they didn't expect help. You'll be happier, and so will they. But you'll be even more happier, because it's better to give than to receive, remember?

At the end of the day, if we concentrate on giving, every one of us is being looked after by everyone we know. If we concentrate on taking, then we've only got one person--us--looking after us. And when it comes to life, there are some things that are just more fun with other people.

"I'm Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver, and you're listening to The Get-it-Done Guy with Stever Robbins."

You can find a link to a great interview with Bob Burg at getitdone.quickanddirtytips.com. We're also giving away two copies of The Go-Giver to listeners who have sent in questions. Congratulations, Pewari and Steve!

This is Stever Robbins. Visit getitdone.quickanddirtytips.com for this episode's transcript, a link to happiness research, and a link to the interview with Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver. Send questions about how to Work Less and Do More to getitdone@quickanddirtytips.com or leave voicemail at 866-WRK-LESS. You can also follow getitdoneguy on Twitter.

If you'd like more information about keynote speeches, workshops, or other appearances, visit SteverRobbins.com for details.

Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!

RESOURCES:

- Interview with Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver

- Bob Burg's web site

- Article on happiness and giving

Comments (2) for Giving to Build Success | Subscribe to Comment

Piaras MacDonnell Says:
6/15/2008 9:41:33 AM

Great podcast Stever, The previous comment makes a good point about "nice guys" but the root of the resentment is the "keeping score". Ferrazzi in his book "Never Eat Alone" addressed this issue in the modern context. A brief look at any of the modern religious text will allude to the ultimate rewards of giving without expectation of return. As a Relationship/Account manager I have found in the real world it's a balancing act between commercial realities and simply doing the right thing. My conclusion, don't bother keeping score, if the person valued your contribution they'll remember for you.

Anonymous Says:
6/12/2008 9:02:27 PM

I am a big fan of most of the Quick and Dirty Tips, but I had an issue with this one for those that are "nice guys," which is a form of codependence. I use to give and give and give, was caring, and good, thinking I would happy, loved and fufilled. Instead though, I was frustrated, resentful, and felt used. Relationships were especially terrible. Then I found No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover (www.nomoremrniceguy.com). I learned that nice guys give to get, holding secret resentment when they don't get what they want, they fix and caretake when they don't need to, they are scared of risk, and their often have intimacy dysfunctions. I learned how to stop seeking approval, be assertive (thanks to When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith), and take care of my own needs. This book changed my life, and one of the keys was I had to stop giving (to get). I stopped giving, and fixed my own life. Now, I'm at a point where I take responsibility for my own needs, allowing me to give freely and happily to others, without resentment, allowing me to have more fulfilling friendships and relationships. So I caution folks, giving is important, but make sure it's not as a way to control others or avoid your own issues (ie codependence). There are too many people in the world that do that.