Stever Robbins here. Welcome to The Get-It-Done Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips to Work Less and Do More. Please take our listener survey on QuickAndDirtyTips.com by clicking the “Listener Survey” button. It will help us with future topics and plans for new podcasters.
Today’s topic is how to schedule meetings with many people quickly; you’ll find out how even an introvert can travel to another city and re-connect with everyone they know, without feeling rushed or pressured.
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Relationships make the world go ‘round. Now it's true if we all turned backwards and ran in the opposite direction at the same time, we might make the world slow down and stop. But if we don't do that, relationships will keep making the world go 'round. Whenever I travel to another city, I deepen my relationships with people who live there.
The Challenges of Being an Introvert
It’s not easy, because I can’t just plan a big party and invite everyone. You see, I am an introvert. We’re a persecuted minority who can be very social, but people wear us out and we need time alone to recharge. We like one-on-one conversation, where we can affect where the conversation goes and how quickly. Otherwise we swoon. Like, at parties.
At parties, we get overwhelmed and head to the bathroom. But all we do there is breathe, relax, and recover. (The extraverts listening to this are shaking their heads in amazement. “Introverts do what?” The introverts, on the other hand, are all thinking, “You mean there are others? I’m not alone!”)
Extraverts do small talk well. Introverts like personal topics. Extraverts say, “Nice to meet you. What do you do for work?” I, an introvert, say, “Nice to meet you. What do you do for work? Does it make you feel like life is devoid of meaning and you’re just living a gray, dead-end existence in a soul-sucking cubicle job where you subjugate your humanity in favor of surface-level conformity?” I don’t get invited back very much.
An Introvert Travels to New York
So I invite myself. I invited myself to New York to meet my publisher, editor, and several old and new friends. Nineteen people in two days! And no small talk, just quality time at a relaxed, comfy pace. The coordinating and scheduling was easy. Here’s how I did it.
Grab a piece of engineer’s graph paper. That’s graph paper with an extra-wide first column and extra tall first row, so you can label the rows and columns. I also use wide columns so there’s room to write a word or two. There’s a link to a sample in this episode’s transcript.
How to Schedule Meetings with Many People
I know a gazillion New Yorkers, so I label the rows of my graph paper with their names. The paper has just over a gazillion rows, so it all fits on one sheet. I label the first column, “waiting to hear back.” I label the rest of the columns with the dates I’m in town.
Now the fun begins! I zip through, calling each person. I say, “I’m in town next week and hope to see people I love or at least, people I hope will loan me money. Can we catch up if our schedules match? What times work for you?” Saying “if our schedules match” is critical. I’m juggling a gazillion people, and can’t guarantee time for everyone. I put a slash in the “waiting to hear back” column if I haven’t yet scheduled anything concrete with someone I’ve called and I keep going down the list.
Schedule People in Your Grid
Some people don’t call back. They hate me. I blot them from my memory, burn pictures with them in it, and erase them from my diary.
Some call back but can’t free themselves up when I’m free. I’m sad. I let them know I love them and want to see them when they’re in my city. Then I move on to someone who really loves me.
People who call back really love me. We set a time and write it in the column of the day we’ll get together. I divide each day into “breakfast, morning, lunch, afternoon, dinner, night,” which conveniently spells “bmldn.” If I’m meeting Joel for breakfast on the 20th, I write a B in Joel’s row in the column labeled the 20th. Then I fill in the “waiting to hear back” column with an “X” so I know this person is scheduled.
At any time, reading down the column for a day shows who’s scheduled for that day and when. Reading a person’s row tells when we’re connecting. If they really, really love me, they might be on multiple days or in multiple time slots. So I bring a little present like flowers, or Oreo Ice Cream Cake, or a pamphlet telling them to convert to my religion.
How to Have Quality One-on-One Time
I scheduled an hour and a half for each time block, with a half-hour for travel between meetings. The pace was glorious. If we didn’t use the whole time, I had extra time to wander Manhattan, looking at museums and parks and pigeons. Lots of pigeons.
How to Have Quality Group Time
My one group event was a dinner and show with five friends. Even an introvert can deal with a six-person dinner. I sat in a middle seat, so I could join any conversation at the table. We saw Matt Doyle, whom I interviewed in episode 91, “Dream the Impossible Dream.” He was on an elevated stage, we were not. We had a great view of his nostrils.
If you’re counting, you’ll realize I’m only up to 18 people so far. The 19th was Ben, whom I met on the bus back. He was trapped next to me for five hours, giving me lots of time to talk, and him lots of time to listen. A new friend! Relationships do make the world go ‘round. And with a simple piece of engineering graph paper, even an introvert can have quality time with 19 people in two days. Life is good.
This is Stever Robbins. This episode’s transcript has engineering graph paper, a sample trip-planning form, and a link to the book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert world.
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