Stever Robbins here. Welcome to The Get-It-Done Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips to Work Less and Do More.

Today's topic is quickly repairing relationships so you can get on with business. The quick and dirty tip is take the blame and make amends.

And thank you for our sponsor GotoMeeting.com, who lets you hold meetings on the internet instead of traipsing across town! Try it free for 30 days at GotoMeeting.com/podcast.

I won! I won! Yes, three years ago, I won a raffle. Yay! I’m a winner! I matter! This was my first raffle win ever! That time in elementary school doesn’t count. That prize was getting to do the big kids’ math homework for a week. My therapist assures me it wasn’t a real raffle, but I’m just not ready to confront the truth.

In this raffle, the prize was better: a free 1000-CD production run from a CD company. Awesome! A ticket to the fast-paced world of information products. Unfortunately, no good product ideas came to mind. But eighteen months later, inspiration struck. I called!

"Oh!" they said, "The raffle expired after a year. You’ll have to pay full price.” What? They never said the prize expired. And they still want my business? Mommy said to treat people with respect. "Not right now,” I replied, “Let me think about it.” While thinking, I published an article about it in my newsletter. I knew they read my newsletter. This would let him know how upset I was. That was a year ago.

Yesterday, he e-mailed, asking if I need CDs made. This time, I was clear: “You promised. You reneged. We won’t be doing business. Ever.” His response? "I'm sorry you feel that way. Give me a call if you change your mind." The tagline of his business, “We Create Relationships.” His tagline is wrong.

Relationships Take Two to Play

We all want relationships. With customers, with suppliers, with girlfriends, boyfriends, transgender friends, and polyfriends. A good relationship requires that both be happy. And we all do stuff sometimes that screws stuff up. Like, we accidentally mail a check out late. Or we misplace an incoming delivery, forget where we put it, and then tell the supplier we never received it. Or we squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.

First, understand that if they’re upset, your opinion doesn’t matter. If your customers think you screwed up, they won’t do business with you. If your sweetie is mad about that little licorice-and-feathers practical joke, then he won’t snuggle with you. It doesn’t even matter if you didn't do what they think you did. Maybe it was the neighbor who did the thing with the feathers. What you need to realize is: it doesn’t matter.

Take the Blame

When someone is upset with you and you want to repair the relationship, take the blame. Take all of it. Don’t be like Stupid Sales Boy and say, “Gee, I’m sorry you’re mad at me.” Would that work if someone said it to you? He just can’t say, “I was wrong.” And so I just can’t say, “Let me place an order for $1,000.”

“But what if it really isn’t my fault?” So? Take the blame anyway. “But that would be lying.” Right. Like, you haven’t lied before and said you were innocent when you were really guilty. Remember the “Who put library paste and glitter all over Fluffy?” incident. You said, “Not me. Fluffy must have rolled in it by accident.” That wasn’t exactly honest, was it? Your mom wasn’t fooled. After all, Fluffy was a goldfish.

Now, lie the other way. Say, “It was my fault. I screwed up.” “It was my fault” pacifies customers. It delights suppliers. And you won’t believe what it can do for a relationship. Bada-bing, bada-bing!

But don’t stop there! Next drive it home by adding the clincher, “What can I do to make it right?”

Make Amends

Surprisingly often, people will accept the apology as being enough. Other times, they may ask you to make it up to them. Remember, your goal here is to make the relationship work for both of you, so you can still say “No” to their request. Imagine Stupid Sales Boy had asked about amends, and I said, “honor the original prize.” He doesn’t have to say “Yes.” He could come back with, “Our costs have gone up and we can’t afford to give you a 1,000-disc run for free. What if we give it to you at our production cost?” I might say “Yes,” and then we’re good to go.

You can also decide for yourself what amends to offer. You can offer to shampoo Fluffy, to expedite your customer’s late order, or to give your sweetie a back rub and bubble bath. Heck, you can even offer to shampoo your customer, expedite your sweetie, and give Fluffy a back rub and bubble bath. The possibilities are endless.

Just remember: when someone thinks you’ve screwed up, you can fight it and cause everyone pain, or you can take the blame. If you want life to be easy, take the blame, make amends, and get on with it. Life is too short to get bogged down in library paste.

And thanks to GotoMeeting.com, you never need to hold another meeting in person again. Just think of the germs! Stay safe and calm in front of your computer and attend meetings virtually. You can give it a try for 30 days at GotoMeeting.com/podcast.

This is Stever Robbins. Email questions to getitdone@quickanddirtytips.com or leave voicemail at 866-WRK-LESS. I actually do have CD products, you know. Visit SteverRobbins.com/shop to see some of them.

Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!